So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
