you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
