Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
