Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
