You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
