So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
