i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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