is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
