I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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