My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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