12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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