Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
