i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
