You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
