We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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