I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
