i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just had sex bonerless
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
