he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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