woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
