I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
