Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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