Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
