If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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