Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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