she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
