That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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