You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
