puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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