Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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