nutella sex= disaster
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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