I must be too annoying 4 u.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
