we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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