he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
