It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
