she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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