there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
