after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
