i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
