Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
