Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
