I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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