Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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