Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
