he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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