I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
