i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
