I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
