I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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