I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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