oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
