very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
