you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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