he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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